His Footsteps

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Come back to me !

Be with me ~

Dun let me feel that i am going through this alone

Don't abandon me

i need you ...

i believe God u will bring me out of this

Give me a way , a solution...

--------------------------------------------------

Although in the mist of all this ,

i still choose to put on a smile where ever i go

JANELLE the love of my life

she never fails to make me feel love

she may be fierce most of the time

but she is willing to spend the time to talk to me

although words like "i love you" seldom come out from her mouth

but i still appreciate the things she do for me

she knows my inside out...

i can never hide anything from her

whenever we share ... there will be no end...

i can just pour out everything to her...

: Janelle you have really grown alot, mature in terms of thinking and the way you choose to handle things ...

happy to see you growing step by step ...

---------------------------

PEIXUAN the nightcat for me :

though we have only known each other for not more than a year,

but true enough u are a great fren ...

you dun mind throwing away all ur time and just focus on talking to me...

maybe most of the time it's u telling me ur problems.

but it's great to be able to share with you ...

no matter how late u will still be available for me ...

u always give me encouragement and assurance that i can do it...

thank you ~

---------------------------

JOVIN the joy in my life:

i realise that i still have her in school to keep my day bright

whenever she smile it'll just make me smile too...

sometimes listening to her talk non stop can make me happy too

at least she is sharing her life to me ...

very naturally i will start to share with her

-------------------------

CHARLENE the sunshine in my life :

despite of all the things she has to do,

facing her own personal problem

she never fails to give me encouragement...

she can tell when i'm sad...

and she will come and counsel me

spend time talking to me ....

thank you charlene~

I am glad that i still have them in my life ,

You girls mean so much to me ...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

* It's Gone *

I no longer feel close to anyone...
I feel like i'm in my own world again...
I lost it , totally lost it...
Seeing Heshen and XR even my Darr really growing
they become so close to the people whom i used to be so close with ...
always seeing them having fun,
hearing that they go out with each other
i felt left out somehow.
i just feel awkward when we get tgt
like a missing piece of puzzle that just can't fit in.
Sometimes i will just walk away just to avoid the awkward feeling...

Maybe u all will say do something abt it then ,
Maybe u all will say start moving too...
Maybe u all have already given up ...

Emotions lock up...
The close feeling , " Family " it's no longer there
am i at fault at the first place?
to be so nonsense...
not catching up...

i'm sorry i just have to post all my emotions out...
to make myself feel better...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.
When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .....Find a guy ..
who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

N level is stressing me out ...

Haix...
I am sick again ...
having fever on & off...
it's just so terribly

I've really make a point that this year can't be like last year already ...
slack slack all that
so yeah...
it's just the 3rd day of school nia but i already so shag ...
just take a look at me can le...
i look super old sudddenly...
so qiao cui...
so many datelines to meet ...
i will soon go crazy le ...

no one is there to encourage or be there for me ...
it really feels terribly...
everyday end school i make my way home to study le
i am just not used to the way it is now but i will need to get used to it...
........................................................................................................
to be honest i have the thought of suicide AGAIN...
wrong ... everything is wrong ...
i really need to cry my all out...

i seem so unhappy recently...
in my relationship :
some things i have to watch out for...
some things i need to try not to do...
some things i can't do...
it became rather dry...
i dunno if i should do sth abt it or sit still & just wait...
i can slowly see the changes though...

in my family :
i dunno whether to love them even more or continue to have the needle in my heart
...................................................................................................................................

Labels: Why do i feel like i'm alone

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Finally it's today...

Christmas has just ended ...
it's gonna be new year soon
so fast , time pass just so fast
hmmm... Didn't had a really good christmas though
didn't celebrate at all ...
recieve a bag from darr for present
a pencil box from my darling
lol both of them preparing me to go back to school already ar...

Today is the day !
w193 thanksgiving & multiplication day
sad to know that my mama is in enyao's group
will miss her alot...
MAMA i love you ~
Haix but what to do ...
meow !

Happy Happy ...
weiling will stay in w193 !
was quite emotional when she tell me that we might be in diff cell the other time

haha so funny...

Labels: Prepare for the new year ahead

Saturday, December 13, 2008

12.12.08 is The Day i Officially Turn Sweet 16

ALL MY NICE NICE PRESENTS FOR THIS YEAR'S B DAY :
Got more to come ~

JANELLE GIVE DE ... I SUPER DUPER LOVE IT LA !

RAWR ... DARR DARR GIVE DE MINI TIGGER BOASTER

LM & WL GIVE ME TIGGER MONEY BANK~
MUST SAVE MONEY !!! =X

More Happy bday wish today :

1.24pm : Janelle! <333

2.50pm : Darr ~<333

8.47pm : Yuehan kor

After my b day le also got ppl wish me haha...

12.06 am : POLAR KOR !!!

12.19 am : Weiling my leader !!!

A msg from Weiling:

Thank God for putting you in my team. You've been grown a lot since you step in to church. Just want you to know, i really appreciate the things you have done to help me in my team. Continue to grow strong for greater things have yet to come. DOn't focus on the minor focus on the major. Put more trust in God. I believe your destiny is more than this yeah. Hold on to the promises and stand firm in Your faith. Once again Happy 16th birthday

haha=X

she wanna be the last to wish me happ b day ...

and indeed she is the last lol !!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ! =D

AT LAST ...
It's finally my birthday !!!

officially turn sweet 16 !

this year's b day abit special bahh hahaha

not really have any celebration ...

hmmmm....

but nvm la =D

okok...

These following ppl wish me HAPPY B DAY !!!

one thing that shocked me the most is my CCA leader...

i dun even really talk to her or maybe not so much le

but she sms and wish me happy birthday !!!

and she is the first to wish me

i feel so touched !

12 am :

CCA LEADER (Ziren)
WESLEY
ANNABEl
PEI XUAN
TECK LOON

12.02am :

WEI PING

12.04am :

JOYCE MAMA <333

12.15am :

STEPHANIE

12.32am :

KIAT LEONG =D

1.29am :

JING GUO

2.06am :

KENNETH

2.38am :

DENISE

2.55am :

MATTHEW

Thx ppl !!! =x

u are the ones that put the smile on my face !

LOVE U GUYS LOTS !

Thursday, December 11, 2008

<< CAT CAT COLLECTION >>

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Counting the everyday ~

It's been quite some time since i last post already
to say honestly , i haven been doing quite well...
everyday is like another boring day for me
nothing much intresting for me to look forward to.
wake up late at afternoon...
sleep late at night...
all these same old things have been going on for few weeks le
until ...

Two days ago ,
Pei xuan wasn't quite doing well also so she came to my hse to slack
stayed at my hse from morning till almost 10 plus at night
both of us actually decided to have a mini prayer meeting
we started off worshipping only...
then i tell her
why dun we use this time to ask God to renew us & really ask God to speak to us
as we continue to worship
the pressence of God become stronger
i can say that it was really a breakthrough
we keep praying keep praying
until we didn't even realise the time le
prayed for more than an hour plus
Thanks pei xuan for really spending the time to pray with me (:
I'm renewed & refreshed !!!
====================================================

Next up !
MY BIRTHDAY IS DRAWING NEAR !!!

WOOTS ...
then i will officially be 16 years old le hahahahaha

looking forward to this date : 12/12/2008
heh heh heh =D

hmmmm wonder what susprises i will get ...
who will celebrate for me

who will wish me happy b day first

really getting excited abt it le !

My wish list :

-Ipod nano (Lime Green )

-Dresses

-These books (True stories ) :

Mummy's Witness by Galye sanders
Nowhere to run by Judy Westwater
My story by Dave pelzer

- Tigger Tigger !!!

- Flower Flower ^^v

hmmm i dunno still got wad ~

shall update again later

================================================

Thursday, November 13, 2008

1st Year anni

HAHAHAHA...

Just a few edited photo nia . still got more ~

shall update soon ^^

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Using ur strength, i can stand up again ~

Sorry Dear readers...
was busy looking for part time Job & in a holiday mood
slack slack thats y so long nv update

So So many things happen during this few months
Family , School , Relationships
Was wondering how come suddenly so many things happen at the same time
then i recall
it's actually i ownself ask from God de
I keep asking for Breakthrough in this area that area...
hahaha...
=========================================
Dunno why
suddenly super in love with candles
these few days or rather weeks
i keep going to different places to play with candles
Just by lighting up them , see them glow
makes me very happy
i will immediately have a smile on my face~
i guess it's a way to relax myself bahh

Last few days i went to the playground at tanan merah ...
And while playing ...
God Reveal sth to me ...
I got a video for it :

God remind me sth...
In life , we will come across many trails ...
these trails will just continue to come ...
it will never end ...
Sometimes we might fall...
there may be times that we will feel lost too
Just like the candles, i keep lighting it but the wind keep blowing the flame off
But only one thing...
By using the strength of God, we can still stand up again ~
I can always depend on my God !

HAPPY B DAY MUMMY!!!

Celebrated my mummy's b day
Hahahahaha ....
Spent all my allowance on mummy's present lol
So gonna go n biscuts & milk diet le
LOL...
But it's worth it ok !
I LOVE MY MUMMY~
Here are some pictures :

My Brother anyhow-ing

Strawberry Sweetheart

Daddy buy de cake cake

Sunday, October 19, 2008

HAIX HAIX HAIX !!!

[[ I'VE ALREADY LOST ALL THAT I HAVE ]]

It's so hard nowadays

Dunno what to do ~

i feel so tired

i wanna continue

but i just feel so tired

just let u do it the way that u wan

but it become my fault in the end

I do know where i'm wrong at

I've tried but it's not enough...

Lost , Confuse ...

What to do now ?

It's so argh !!!

I totally can't control my emotion anymore

I will just cry on the bus suddenly

or even when walking halfway home

What is this ???

Family, Relationship, Friends...

feel so useless

feel so silly

feel so angry with myself

totally totally lost

I no longer know what you want

Tell me please

Don't keep quiet

I very xin ku liddat

I need support too u know~

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Exam is finally over
it's time to relax abit le !
hahahahaha ~

I really gonna thank God for giving me the strength
to last through this whole exam period
although so many things happen at home all that

I'm really happy !
My mum came into my room , sit down & gave me a hug ...
she actually gave me the assurance that no matter what happen
she, daddy , my brother & i
the four of us will always be the one family
that nth can seperate us
and that no matter what , even if me & my aunt fight again ...
she will not allow my aunt to cause anymore physical hurt to me
cause she know it's time she gonna protect

My Brother actually came and gave me a big hug !
this is like the first time he give me a hug after three years la
I actually find it hard or dunno how to love my brother because of an incident that happen at home last time .
it makes me so hurt that i just closed up and dunno how to love him
but i just felt so touch when he hug me so tight
made me feel so loved
regardless of how bad i treat him
but just that one hug of his made my heart melts

K larhh i shall post the rest of the things some other time
cause it's late and i gonna catch up on my beauty sleep le
TaTa ~
=================================================

Labels: Drama Queen Signing off ~

Monday, October 6, 2008

..:: Stars Stars ::..

OMG OMG larhh !!!
i'ts now 3:00Am in the morning le
hahahahahahahahahaha
i'm still not asleep wor

Was looking out the window just now
cos someone told me when around 2 or 3 liddat
the clouds will start to clear
that will be the best time to look into the skies
because all the stars stars will be so clear to you
and it's so true !!!
it's actually the first time in my life looking at so many stars !!!
hahahahahaha

All the small small star which normally around 8 plus 9 cannot see de lorh
all blinking blinking at me sia
make me so damm happy =x
i see one row of 3 stars stars
some got colour de lorh
i also dunno why also
hahahahahahaha
got Red,Blue,and Green wor !
believe it or not
go see lorh hahaha
of cos must be the day that got no rain then can see all these beautiful star star

Tata ~
Gonna continue enjoying looking at my stars stars le

Labels: I shine the brightest XD ~

This Deep scar in my heart; I feel like running away

Really feel so tired le
Haix ~
totally no strength to continue this battle
Grant me the strength of urs God

I need ur Love so much
I need someone to care
I need to feel ur peace
I need a hug so much
I NEED YOU ~

LOVE turning into HATE
This is terribly
I don't wanna Hate
but things just get out of control
everyday when i get home
i feel the awkwardness when ever i see u

I cry almost everytime when i think of all these past
those emotional hurts & physical hurts
It can never be erase
How to stand up again i wonder
How will my life be next time bringing all these past with me
I am totally lost already

I feel alone at home
like no one to encourage me
No one to support me
i ask myself " Is my teenage life suspose to be like this ? or should it be happier ? "

Teach me how to LOVE again
Teach me to be Strong
Teach me Learn how to control my emotion
==========================================

Regardless of all this which has happen
i still wanna thank someone who have been there for me all this while
Thx for ur concern
Thx for ur Love
Thx for ur encouragment
Thx for comforting me when i'm crying ( i know i sound super awful )
Thx for listening all my complains
Thx for spending time with me at night to chat
Thx for the attemp to put me to sleep wor LOL

===========================================
Exam is gonna end soon
but i still feel scared
about my math
hmmmmm...
not been able to focus on my exam also
because of all the things happening at home
===========================================

Labels: I needed my Beautiful times back

Monday, September 29, 2008

..........................................................................

Usher celebrated my B day in advance !!!
woots !!!

sry guys !!!
exam is here will be M.I.A-ing ^^

Friday, September 19, 2008

* STRESS STRESS *

Mummy cat feeding her baby kitten [[ In my school de hahaha.]] I edit dao so cute ! =X

Jealous ? Me & Baobeii ate this ! wakakaka

cute cute look aiyo !

[[ Sweetie sweetie ]]

{{{{{ *SIGH* }}}}}

I'm sorry i have to start my post with that big big Sigh ~

Seriously stressing up already larhh !!!

EOY EXAM is in less than 10 days !

and i can tell u i'm not quite prepared!

espcially my math !

DAMM !

i can die just trying to understand how to do !

These few weeks has been a really hard time for me

Emotionally,Physically...

Got a few times i'm so stressed up that i just came home

the first thing that i do is fell down on my bed and cry

That stress just seem to overtake me totally called Darr Darr & told him what happen...

He see me liddat. keep asking me " Dun Cry le larhh Darr ~ "

i can hear his voice change

HE CRIED ALSO!

He say he heart pain to see me liddat

then eventually he get kind of pek chek cos he dunno how to help me

AIYO ~ SO CUTE =x

I Love to see him cry ! *muhahaha*

Not say i bad larhh

but really very cute marhh =p

Stayed up late at night just to cover up each subjects

those need to learn de

in the end go to school feel like sleeping

can't really concentrate . Make me Super pek chek

Guess i got bad time managment. Dunno how to manage my time to study T_T

BLAH BLAH BLAH larhh ~

enough of all this stress stress things bahh

=================================================

Sweetie went over to Baobeii's house to stay for a few days

as Jerel's parents went overseas

then no one to take care of her

BTW , Sweetie is a cute little doggy ^^

Haha went over to play with sweetie

She so cute larhh !

keep licking me LOL

i reach the door nia then she jump here jump there le

then i sit down, she jump up then lick dao my lips lorhh haha =x

aiyo ! I Love her larhh !!!

=================================================

Just one week ago,

was our 10th month together !

hahahaha =x

Just wanna say i'm still lovin you lots !

No. Actually I hate you leh

1) Stupid attitude !

2) Naggy Naggy~ (Girls should be the one doing that i thought )

3) Stupid last minute thing

4) Reminders after Reminders

5) Always ask me "EAT MORE" ... TSK !

6) Always ask me "SLEEP EARLY"

LOL i'm just joking !

Baby how can i hate u !

I Love u with all my fats man

no larhh

I LOVE YOU TILL MY LAST BREATHE TAKES ME AWAY!!!

Ok fine i dunno y today i so high wakakakaka !

BABY !!!

U still owe me my :

. Something that is in ORANGE ! *HINT HINT*

. SAKAE SUSHI!

. BAO BAO!

. KISSES !

LOL BLEAH =p

===============================================

Ehhhhh i think i shall stop here first bahh

now is already 11 plus

still dun sleep later kena scolding from Darr again liao

hahaha

BABY Muacks !

TATA !

I LOVE YOU !

Labels: I Love You Endlessly

Monday, September 15, 2008

♥ MY LOVE LANGUAGE ~

Mine :
The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probably
Receiving Gifts
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results
Receiving Gifts: 9
Physical Touch: 7
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 4
Quality Time: 4

Darr Darr's :
The Five Love Languages
Your primary love languages are probably
Quality Time and Receiving Gifts

Complete set of results
Quality Time: 8
Receiving Gifts: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 5
Physical Touch: 3

Friday, September 12, 2008

>STRESSING IN PROGRESS<

Sorry everyone ~
I will be MIA-ing for this period of time
however will see when free then post abit bahh
Preparing for my EOY so very stress T_T
Do pray for me ^^

Thursday, September 11, 2008

***MUACKS***

BABY ~
HAPPY 10th MONTH !!!
I LOVE YOU !!!
PS. I'm Currently chiong-ing for my Chemistry
So just drop by to post abit nia ^^
MUACKS ~

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I was shocked !!!

Back to school again ~

3 more weeks to EOY le

i really chionging chioning le

really wonder if i can make it hmmmm...

Tried as hard as possible to pay attention in class

things work out quite well actually

i was able to absorb hat the teacher is talking abt

====================================

Early in the morning i kena Gastric pain !!!

Sian Sian de ~

cause pain till i gonna bend down

recess time dare not eat too mush also scared that it will get worst

so ate porriage only ~

Nice Nice i love it haha!

As usual After school went to meet Darr to have lunch

then Went home le

Both of us will be meeting lesser & won't have much time for each other le

cause need to Chiong for EOY

First thing that shock me or rather made me real happy is that Baby ownself come & tell me that he wanna learn how to pray !!!

I nv expect him to tell me that at all !!!

Second thing is our conversation on phone before sleep

Me:Darr how come u so quiet ?

Darr: Cause not so noisy lorhh ...

Me: -__-" Okie ~

Darr: Actually just now i tried to pray but i dunno how ~Haix !

Me: U Wan me to pray with you isit ?

Darr: Yarhh ~ But i dunno how to leh.

Me: We can both pray together ar!!!

Darr: OK ! ^^

[[ After Praying ]]

Me: DO YOU WANT ? to know how to pray ?

Darr: Yarhh Just That i really dunno how lorhh T_T

Me: AH hahaha~ If u really have a desire for it,ask it from God & he will grant you Ur desire!

[[ Share Share experience ]]

etc etc~

Woots larhh !

heh heh ~

To see him growing each day made me feel Joy

He sometimes will just share things with me that will just made me feel so whao !

Like what Pastor Tan share the other day ~

His msg was really Great!!!

It let me meditate for awhile ~

==========================================

I do have some prayer request ^^ :

-Health

-Studies

-Spritual walk with God

-Serving in usher

-Friends ( Be Able To Influence Others )

==========================================

Sunday, September 7, 2008

IT's CALLED L.O.V.E

[[ It's called L.O.V.E ]]